Seeing the "deficiency story" for what it is...

One day it came to her in a Flash -
just how caught she was in her 'deficiency story'...
she saw it...!
...doubting herself & over-thinking
... believing her effort not seeming 'good enough'
...annoyance when she makes a 'mistake'
and, the most troubling >
trying to control everything so that everything goes 'perfectly' ... so she doesn't look like a bad or inadequate person -- (which is how she feels)

She Saw all this... and made a promise to herself then and there that she would Notice these Untruths about herself and Remind herself that This is Just an Old Story! That it's Not true! ... and just Let that deficiency story GO!

She could honestly say that she always does her best and she never intentionally does anything to hurt anyone!
... She's a GOOD Person!

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EXPLORING REALITY

Exploring Reality                                                                                                        9/01/14

This paper the first of its kind--for me--as an experiment in putting together and blending notes from books and notes written from listening to 'liberated' teachers and my own experiences exploring Reality of nondualism. I've been involved for past 5 years ... exploring what is Here, Now...
initially, reading > Byron Katie... Eckhardt Tolle... Miguel Ruiz... then, 'discovering' non-duality authors and... then... meeting, in person, hearing & discussion with 'liberated' Teachers...
 By NO Means is this a Complete picture - and I've intentionally left out particular truths, for now.

In past 3 years looking deeper into what is True - SEEING the conditioning – pointed to by these teachers...
This year seeing even more what we've been taught to believe by consensus reality as really UpSideDown from Truth
Understanding shared here is limited – and I share with you what I understanding, now.
 SEE what is True... for You !

Why Explore Reality? – We believe we already Know it. But that's just it - Reality can Not be Known by the mind. Reality can only be Experienced - however, unbeknownst to us, our concepts and convictions camouflage our ability to see Reality/Truth.  In Not understanding the Truth > Reality –there is ALWAYS suffering... simply look back in 'history' – look at the current world situation – there is Suffering...

• emotionally, psychologically...dissatisfaction, self-criticism, deficiency 'stories' create Much suffering in us.
• Realizing Truth offers reducing of stress, anxiety, conflict and addiction as old beliefs fall away.

• Reality is and can never be Other Than what is Right Here – Right Now
  
• Past and Future only exist in our Mind – happening right here and right now
  
• We say things are happening to me from 'out there'--in the world-- we think there is an 'out there' – but we are actually experiencing ourselves (in here)
  
• The mind can not know reality because the mind only knows 'concepts' – it is incapable of understanding reality...therefore, unable to Experience it

Names of things are NOT what they actually are

• the names for things are actually merely arbitrary sounds that have been agreed upon by society

• naming a thing interferes with our connection with that thing

• we come to see that we've had no way of knowing of an object except through our habits of thought. So we come to see that thought is not mirroring reality. .. in fact, interferes with seeing.

Our (unexamined) convictions--beliefs Interfere with seeing Reality– society supports these faulty conviction that:

• conceptual interpretations we make are True and accurately describe reality
  
• the 'naming' of things describe and point to what it actually is – including each other

• past and future are real – things are happening to me 'out there' – names of things indicate what a thing Is –
  
• the belief that people are 'acting toward me' – or that I am responsible
  
• things & people 'should' be a certain way – what's happening is unacceptable
  
• we can control outcome
  
• conviction in the belief in opposites – dichotomy, mutually exclusive – rather than seeing the illusory creation of polarization – imagined separateness (running rampant in society)
  
• my wants, needs, 'must haves' or 'don't wants' Should be satisfied – or I will be unhappy, dissatisfied
  
• everything stays the Same (or should)... (we see others & experiences from the past – not in the present – mind has a concept
  
• we must improve – become better – how we are at present is not good enough

The dualistic mind believes in a division between a person and the experience 'happening to a person'. It puts every experience in a time-bound, thought-based self-story.


*****One way of EXPLORING your beliefs & convictions is by listening to your choices of words – and others' words – will offer insight into your perspective on life...your beliefs, convictions

What Happened? How did we get here?

Infants experience reality, totally and completely – No names for things, no self-identity, no separate objects – Everything is ONE.

Utter glee, exploration,newness, amazement – Observe a child under the age of one and see this Reality. (see image below)

Then – Conditioning sets in –(See – Voice of Knowledge by Miguel Ruiz - or, Becoming your True Self by Vivian Broughton

• Survivor self is created – Interpreting with limitations of child-mind, its life experiences – like looking through a slit and believing she's seeing entire picture of what Is.
  
• No longer able to See Reality – survivor strategies & creation of filters interfere with ability to see Reality.
  
• Because it's easy to feel 'unsafe', we live in fear, anxiety, pressure, stress...particularly of 'aughts' and 'shoulds'.
  
• Survival strategies we Believed we needed to survive childhood/family are Still being used – now – out of habit – even though the trauma is over and we have Already Survived!
  
• We're caught in habits of mind, memory & belief/convictions of which we've forgotten the contents.

Now, we are completely Used to – feel at Home with – this particular view of Reality – the belief in 'what we must Do' & how we must 'Be' to Feel Safe ! (memories and thoughts that we're living out of – today...
SEE them for what they are – they are creating our reality, over and over.

Steps toward Seeing What IS:

• This exploration involves a SEEING.... Not a 'Doing'

• Desiring to see Reality as it IS – to see Truth
  
• SEEING our out-moded perspectives – seeing how it has been limiting you, causing suffering
  
• SEEING deep unconscious habits of conditioning – (fear of not being enough, fear of not having enough – are Not personal experiences – they are a deep habit of consciousness)
  
• Connecting with Awareness

Awareness is Who / What we Truly Are...

• Awareness is always present regardless of what's happening
  
• Awareness is the space in which all occurrences appear.
  
• it's the Space between an occurrence – where we may Remember to Breathe – Connect with Awareness...
  
• Occurrence = body sensations, perceptions (thoughts, feelings, beliefs, states); and world (experiences... everything we believe is 'out there')

Consider the metaphor of being in a movie theater – watching the film called: 'My Life'

In the metaphor we have a movie screen, we have the movie starring the actors viewed on the screen, and we have the stuff that's happening... or occurring to the actors in the movie.

• the screen represents Awareness (or oneness) 
  
• movie that plays upon the screen is subject and objects (appearing as Separate things 'happening)...
• Occurrences (everything that comes and goes) including others - our thoughts, feelings, experiences, states
• We, as individuals, are characters in the movie and as such are unable to see the screen (Awareness) upon which we're being played and we believe our role as separate individuals in the movie. We can turn, look back, up and down, and even within, and we can never see the screen itself.

I cannot see that I am playing within Awareness (the screen). Yet as the screen (Awareness), everything shows up within/upon me, and all remains dimensionless from this perspective. Everything, absolutely everything is allowed to be displayed upon the screen and like Awareness, the screen is not affected in any way by what is displayed upon it. (Remember, Awareness is Who we Truly Are)

SEEING all that occurs in our life as Occurrences - neither good nor bad - It just IS... thoughts, feelings, states, beliefs...
Letting Go of the 'should's/shouldn'ts'... relaxing into the present moment - into Awareness

Challenges in life: We are hypnotized by Life. Life (society) has So many demands upon us – pressure has been created to fit in, conform, comply, submit to Life's expectations – we hope to feel sense of 'belonging'.

Viewing Reality in this way does not deny the existence of world, but demonstrates it as Occurrences,  like a movie on a movie screen. As a movie, a movie seems real... and as the world, the world seems real... Seeing the Occurrences in our lives as things that occur... and then disappear... it's possible to loosen the grip the mind has in believing these occurrences as something that should or shouldn't happen - or that we can control... Recognizing sensation of bodily contractions... tensions cause by objecting, fear, anger...  Loosening the grip - relaxing, inwardly.

Working With Intention -

WORKING WITH INTENTION - parts of self

My Notes about Working with Intention from Vivian's trauma workshop: (this information below includes NOTHING  about other participants' individual work)


What information seeker discloses in the 'chair' is equally important as the constellation – the seeker's telling of the back-story helps them get in touch with the trauma that occurred so as to begin the process.

Our culture denies the occurrence of trauma unless it is on the scale of  9/11. Childhood trauma is not recognized.
Trauma is an experience of powerlessness – where there is Nothing that could be done (as a child).
...the child Freezes, Dissociates, Splits off from itself...

Seeker's INTENTION is actually a part of her/himself – illustrating possible projections, can turn into unconscious opposite sides of oneself like anger, rage, aggression, powerlessness – feelings that have been buried

The original trauma(s) are frozen in time and needs to be allowed up into consciousness to release.
Trauma occurred when we were Powerless as a child in a situation.
Our sense of powerlessness is unbearable as a child – we find survival strategies to cope.
Not being 'seen' or 'heard' as a child – anger, or feeling 'what's the use' may be a survival strategy.

Trauma is held in the body.
How much is the Cost to us for not fully feeling Alive –due to inability to embrace the cut-off parts of self?

Fear of feeling the pain in the traumatized part of self – we do anything to Not connect – to Avoid – to Not see- therefore, we are Not allowing ourselves to see a part of ourselves that feels Isolated, Alone,Needy for Connection !
Therefore, everything we experience, express in dissatisfaction... is about US... the disowned parts.

Trauma seriously disrupts our ability to Trust ourselves, our feelings, what belongs to me & to the other – and understanding our experiences.

Parents who are traumatized are UNABLE to be trustworthy!

The seeker's Intention tends to be a blend of the survival, the Healthy &traumatized parts of self

Seeker beginning to connect more deeply with the Healthy part of themselves via the Intention.

Possible Intentions are to see, feel, touch in to - whatever one realizes has been keeping them from living life fully and alive  and putting this recognition into their own words as an Intention for the constellation.

Knowing the 'Story' is less relevant for the representatives – Instead:tuning in to the experience in the body as representatives –physically, emotionally – is the key! The body shows us where the entanglements in the trauma live. Representatives letting go of their mind and Trusting their bodily experiences, feelings & expression without suppression, fear, doubt or embarrassment.

For seeker to Look into the Face of their own traumatized child part –embracing this part is the beginning of integration... autonomy...True Self

Becoming familiar with our survival strategies so we Realize this is NOT me...(impatience, irritation, judgmental are all aspects of persecutor—victim in oneself)

When you see something presented outside yourself (constellation) &are able to acknowledge this is YOUR inner world – and accept it...bring it into consciousness—then can be the beginning of release of inner tension that has been tightly held.

As we start to see the Truth – the survival strategies begin to fall away.
(see image, below)


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INTIMATE INSIGHTS SHARED WORKING WITH BODY/WISDOM CONNECTION- bypassing Mind

I have been given permission to share these intimate experiences of others with the Invisible world, anonymously, for the purpose of promoting awareness of a means of tapping into the wisdom of our bodies that offers us loving, unfettered guidance. Here, working with INTENTION, we experience a pure, unadulterated intuitive Knowing from our Being beyond the 'rational', linear mind and its 'aughts' and 'shoulds' and fears.

I enjoy utilizing several modalities with Seekers:  

• working with Stones as representatives (representing an issue, a goal, another person in their lives); 

• working with hidden information written on paper and including a stone; 

• working with other humans as representatives setting up an Intention in a group setting...

Working with Paper and Stones

ONE EXAMPLE: Seeker experiences sense of stuckness for a number of months in the comforts of the status quo and believing the lies in the head generating fear of stepping out vs taking a step forward out of the comfort zone and first experiencing and then exposing the fears as lies. Seeker is NOT informed which paper has which statement written on it - it will be folded and another paper will cover it as well - then seeker will select a stone for that paper, placing it on top.

On one paper is written:   Protect the fears by avoiding new growth experiences - Seeker chose a beige smooth stone and placed on the folded paper.

On the other paper is written: Address fears by moving forward in new experiences - Seeker chose a green stone and placed on the folded paper.

Next, Seeker grounds and collects self - then stood on one paper with shoes off - holding the stone in hand -

Seeker commented: "This stone feels initially cold but warmed up quickly... and I feel a tingle in my face. Then, feeling a sense of "exhale relief"

Seeker grounded again, then, stepping to the second paper and picked up the stone, commenting: "This stone felt warm at first, but then it feels shallow, no depth... not noticing any other sensations - feels flat."

OUTCOME: Seeker was asked to choose which place he felt resonance with. He chose the first place - and then read the choice of his folded paper. Client read that his body chose 'New Experiences'

SECOND SITUATION: Dilemma facing several difficult choices: Seeker's role in the family has been as 'responsible one' . Presently feeling compelled to make big life decisions. Family business in trouble, Seeker feeling sense of loyalty and obligation to save the situation. Seeker realizing it's Uncle's responsibility now "but 99% of me feels that I need to step in and save the business."

One of Seeker's choices written on one paper: 'Let whatever happens to the business happen'.

On second paper Seeker writes: 'Wait and see what Uncle does'.

On third paper Seeker writes: 'Step in and sell the business'.

The papers are folded, covered and Seeker selects and places stones over each paper without knowing which is which.

Seeker stands on one paper - holds stone - states: "I feel a sense of heaviness here - like, 'it's too much', too complicated. Her body feels cold. (She learns after that she is standing on the paper that says 'Sell the business'.

Standing on the next paper, holding the stone - states: "I don't feel much of anything but a slight nervousness, uneasy."

OUTCOME:  Standing on the third paper, holding the stone - states: "This stone warmed up quickly in my hands. I feel calm and peaceful standing here. My body feels good here". -- Seeker picked up the folded paper at feet and it read: 'Let whatever happens happen'. Upon reading this, seeker expressed sense of relief. Seeker read the first paper  where her body had felt heavy. That paper read, 'Step in and sell  the business'. Seeker recalled the innate sense of  'too complicated' when standing on that place.

Seeker states amazement that body realized the right choice for self that was exactly the opposite of what the mind 'thought should be done'. Yet, in this moment, the the 'rightness' of letting it go.

Working with People as Representatives - with Intention

SITUATION: A Seeker working on setting boundaries and creating healthy separate self from parent as well as detaching from inner critic.

Seeker selects a man to represent her Intention: to see what is in her way from having healthy boundaries with her mother and feel less oppressed by her 'inner critic' (survivor part of self). Seeker selects a woman to represent her mother; Seeker represented herself.

The mother representative was leaning on seeker in an intrusive manner of which the seeker felt  quite familiar. The male representative for the Intention tuning in to his body stated to mother and Seeker: 'You have to do better! It's just not good enough" (rather apologetically as making such a statement was not in his actual nature).

Just at that moment a participant of the circle familiar with constellations work arrived in the midst of this constellation - entered the room and the facilitator asked if she would be willing to represent the seeker's grandmother. As this occurred, tuning in to her body - the 'grandmother' representative, folding her arms across her chest with an apparent look of disdain and, looking at the two women, stated: "I'm disappointed in you. You could do better!" This late arriving participant had no knowledge of what had come just before she had entered the room - yet her body was able to pick up and tune in to the energy of the Field.

OUTCOME: The seeker was shown just what she needed to see for her own next step. She reported a month later that subsequently she has been experiencing dramatic inner shifts and receiving feedback from others close to her that something seemed different about her. Seeker reported feeling a genuine sense of openness to the world and experiences around her.

SITUATION:  A Seeker's Intention:  to work on valuing himself and his capabilities more than he currently does.
Seeker selects a representative for his Intention - increased self valuation - and he stands as himself - and, together, he and the representative for his Intention find their place in relation to each other. The representative for his Intention moves away from the Client - as far away in the room as possible. Seeker appears perplexed and unsure. A representative for the child-part of Seeker is selected and finds his place in the scene. The child-part of the seeker refuses to be 'looked at' by the seeker - the child-part conveys anxiety and panicy feelings. When a representative for the seeker's mother was brought in to the scene, the energy began to shift.

OUTCOME: More unfolded in this constellation as the representative for the seeker's mother entered - however, what was demonstrated was the next step for seeker in establishing a more conscious relationship with his own inner, traumatised child part. He expressed his realization that his life was out of balance - too outer focused.
Seeker expressed seeing something played out, externally via the constellation, that might have taken him very much longer to come to realize on his own. 

Utilizing Stones as Representatives for issues and other people

Seeker's experience: "During this session it became very clear to me that I have ignored and rejected the child part of me for a long time.  After working with Nancy and the stones, I became aware of something...the child part of me feels what my mother must have felt growing up in poverty and pregnant at 14,... unnoticed, ignored, rejected.  I placed the child part representative next to me, but not touching or facing me. I placed my mother's mother near her, but not touching or facing her.   I believed as a child, I "unconsciously" felt unnoticed, ignored and rejected by my mother. Very similar to what my mother could have felt.  I don't know, because we've never talked about how she felt as a child.   Nancy asked me to talk to the child part of me...acknowledge her, listen to her. I did, I told her, "I love you and I will acknowledge you."  It was pretty intense and emotional.  At the end of the session I had a real sense of peace.  I want to give the child part of me the attention and love that she perceived herself to be missing, I see that I need to give that to her now. Wow, this is big!"

 

What is 'Being Real'? Body/Spirit Connection work

We desire to live healthy, fulfilling lives in relation to those we care about engaging in ways that are authentic and true to our Being. (See comments, below, from others' who are willing to share their own personal experiences of constellations work so as to promote awareness of this phenomenal work)

Learning how to access that which promotes healthy love, first toward oneself--as a result of healthy connection with one's inner parents - and subsequently toward significant others--personally and professionally... and with one's direction in life.

Healing is not about "getting better," it is about letting go of everything that isn’t you – all of the expectations, all of the beliefs, letting go of the defenses – and unfolding into who you truly are.” ~Rachel Naomi Remen

Bringing the disparate parts of our psyche into conscious awareness and into alignment that our defenses...our survivor part wants to Avoid. Bringing these parts into consciousness to LOVE and accept rather than Deny and Reject.

Constellations work demonstrates, visually, how we may, unconsciously, live out our mother's disappointments... or repeat our father's infidelity... or issues around being successful. Unconsciously, we replicate the failed relationships, or issues with money...or health... fears of moving forward... of our parents and grandparents. We understand that we inherit our eye color and blood type; we also inherit the psychological residue from traumatic events that have taken place in our family history even generations prior to our birth. Depression, anxiety, chronic self-doubt/self-criticism, illness, over-eating or other substances, unhappy relationships and financial challenges can all be forms of this unconscious, unsatisfying inheritance.

Constellations work visually and gradually reveals the hidden dynamics and family loyalties that keep us rooted in destructive patterns or just keeps us feeling stuck.The constellations circles offer possibilities for a new life course beginning to be set in motion. This can ultimately be life-changing...through the process of increasing trust in the wisdom of our bodies and willingness to set aside the 'thinking' mind, if only briefly. Experiencing deeply moving constellations... trusting the Field... and each other....

COMMENTS FROM PARTICIPANTS OF  CONSTELLATIONS WORK:

"What constellation works means to me...
I am someone that sees things the way I want to see them and I tend to stuff my feelings. Doing constellation work allows me to see things I would not have seen in any other way and pushes me to feel feelings I often cram deep down inside. Watching other people's constellations also reminds me of something going on in my personal life as well and helps me gain courage to deal with those things."~ A

*************************
"Feeling gratitude and love to all who participated in constellation circle last night. So much trust, vulnerability and openness.
Always honored to be a part of this work and grateful for what is shown to me by the field.
Peace." ~ J
****************************
"I am happy to share what constellation work has meant to me.
Constellation work has opened my soul to receive and feel a love that has been with me since birth-- although it was love that I seldom felt, if ever...because of deep set feelings of unworthiness and low self esteem. Through constellation work I have seen clarity in situations that have burdened me for years. The truths revealed to me in constellations has given me a sense of peace and acceptance.
Nancy, I am forever grateful for guidance and wisdom. Thank you," J.M.

******************************
"Constellation work helps me to see "What Is"-- whether it's buried deeply or just lingering below the surface. I also have the opportunity to just Feel my feelings for a few hours. Feel without judgment, fear, or worry about what anyone is thinking. The truths I see in my own constellation or as a representative always provide me with "food for thought." And more importantly, I'm left with a sense of peace and belonging." ~ JR
*******************************
"As I think on constellation work, I think of TRUTH, SEEING, OPENING UP to 'What IS'. In connection with constellation work, I am learning that I am not alone in my journey; that others have come before me that have had their own journey and possess wisdom to aid me in mine. My awareness and acceptance of life’s day-to-day happenings is more familiar now since I have begun constellation work. I sense how everything and everyone is connected in some way; either by energy or experiences. To me, constellation is the most truth I have experienced, even more true to me than church. To me, constellation is “my church”; my spirituality is deeply connected to this work. It is my path along my journey. Thank you for everyone who is part of this work. I am grateful for the sharing and witnessing of others in their journey. I don’t feel so quite alone and to me that is everything that keeps me confident and courageous in this work.
Sincerely, from the heart and spirit," DT
***************************
"Here is my commentary on working with stones in constellations:
I really appreciate the stone work in constellations because the process of work with the stones as representatives for people in my life... or personal issues... has a way of disarming me, cutting through the various defenses I seem to have and really expose my core to myself. Then, I am able to genuinely look at experiences through a new lens - my lens of truth." ~ N.
*****************************

"Constellations work continues to amaze me! Recently I worked with stones as representatives for aspects and issues around my Recovery. I positioned the stones representatives where they "felt" to belong. 'Thinking about it' does not seem to be part of this placement process. As we sat back and took in the vision of the placements, we started making connections with the relationship these stones representatives have with each other... for example: I saw that I had placed the representative for my recovery behind me--out of my line of vision. And the stone representing me was focused on the 'obstacles' that I had placed in front of me. Suddenly, there was the realization that if I turned my representative a little, I would be facing my new sponsor rather than obstacles. What became suddenly clear to me via the stones placements was how things in my life could be different just by changing my focus! It was shocking to see something that was just set up by 'feelings' and seemed totally random, initially, suddenly took shape into a plan for success that was more simple than my Mind would have ever come up with! Working with the stones constellation was like flipping a switch just by seeing that a slight shift in focus and a new sponsor could bring my recovery back into view!" A.

Humans standing as Representatives in a Constellations group.

A Representative's experience - "Knowing Field"

We do not live in isolation, though it often may feel that way. However, on a deep level, a soul level, we know that we are connected to each other, to our ancestors, to nature, to the universe.This “knowing field” is what we tap into to see the expanded view, to find the resources to create a new image in relation to our 'story'  when engaging in Constellations work. (a quote from Nancy Kehr)

A representative's experience:

Hi Nancy,

In reflecting on whether it's the Field or one's own mind...In my limited experience, I too have had thoughts while representing and wondered if I was being influenced by my mind.  I believe that the more you know about someone, the more "tuned in" you can be and that's not a bad thing, necessarily.   I have found it very helpful for me to practice our grounding technique of counting breaths as I represent.  This way if/when my mind interferes,  I let the thought pass and get right back to counting, which allows me to feel/listen to what is going on inside my body and then act on it.  

Feel free to share this if you like - J

A person has been selected by a member of the group to represent a person or a concept in this other person's life...

This person chosen to represent will typically begin by directing her/his attention to her current awareness within the body...bodily sensations (hot/cold; heavy/light ect) and feelings... (sad, scared, angry, content ect)

and then may begin to notice spatial relationships in relation to other representatives and what ever urge to move toward or away from

 internal images may also arise... more from embodied awareness than from rational thought

When less experienced in representing - people may often find themselves startled by their experience - feeling compelled by the body to move in a certain way or place

Ordinarily we are used to thinking about our experience...however, 'Thinking' tends to move us to analysis and may cause a missing of meaningful physical and emotional information... people new at representing may find it helpful to simply practice increasing connection with the body... and noticing when moving back into the head... come back to the body

The representative experience is, for the most part, a physical and emotional experience... movement may also be a part of the experience - the person representing may express (laugh or cry) the felt emotion or simply describe what they are feeling...
a person chosen to represent a member of a family system who holds secrets may feel "restrained"

A person representing may tend to enter a kind of 'trance-like' state - which is more connected with our Right brain (intuition) rather than our left (logic & reason)...  For many, this is, initially, an unfamiliar place to be - so may be initially uncomfortable in it's unfamiliarity - when we're used to 'knowing' with our linear brain

In Right brain - our boundaries become less rigid - we are more open to receiving impressions - and experiencing of feelings and interconnectedness rather than the usual sense of separateness

Constellations work challenges our ordinary way of 'knowing' (logic) and of believing (in separation)... and opens us to increased connection with ourselves and others

At the moment of being chosen to represent another... a connection is formed... sometimes individuals even seem to sense that they are going to be chosen to represent before the person actually picks them

The person who is picked to represent tends to have similar issues and energy as the person they are picked to represent (this fact is unconsciously felt by the client selecting her representatives). So, the person representing may gain insight into her own issues in this representing of another

Representatives experience feelings and emotions that belong to the person or thing which they are representing - constellations work shows us that, contrary to our beliefs, feelings don't belong to us - they move through... and can/will simply disappear - like clouds that appear and disappear

Our left brain may find it hard to believe that one can NOT 'make a mistake' representing

Truth illustrated through constellations work is a metaphor to be experienced... a means of understanding a path from tension and entanglement - moving into more balance and freedom.
"Fields" are areas of interconnectedness such as fields of study, occupational fields, our family fields... There is a field that connects all of life. Scientists call it the morphogenic field, philosophers refer to the universal consciousness. It is not subject to time or distance and in effect does not adhere to any of our physical laws. This field is a repository for memories; experiences; and great knowledge that goes back to the beginning of what we call time….this is the “knowing field”.

our ancestors

constellations work

Point Of Light - Remembering

 

 

 

 

I woke up this morning with a keen realization regarding an emotional difficulty I experienced a few weeks ago... and, thanks to the influence from listening to Unmani (http://not-knowing.com/) last weekend as well as reading A New Earth... I sat and wrote this in my journal... it all simply poured out... with some refinements added, later.

 
Our culture keeps us asleep... one of the many ways is through language... which reinforces our beliefs. Perceptions from early childhood... how we... how I interpreted my events... reinforce the (misperception) that someone... or Life... is doing something to me.

She/he is ignoring me... criticizing me... excluing... dismissing... not appreciating... Me... and so, a story... my story is reactivated... my child(hood) perceptions... misunderstandings--interpretations from the past overlaid onto present life events.  All arguments, offenses, hurt feelings, conflicts, war... are a result of the story of 'me'.

Of course, most are unaware that Nobody is doing anything (to us)... it's All just happening... in the only way it can... or something would be happening differently--as our stories superimpose onto each others stories... this is our so-called reality. And, it's my perception of what's happening - based on my interpretations of others learned a long time ago.

The One that I Am is a point of Light...  while 'me' is a bundle of memories... of interpretations given to life events from long ago... making them mean something based on the memories of 'my' story...
so, 'me' goes through life perceiving that things and people are happening / doing something to me

so, 'me' goes through life perceiving that Life / situations and people are happening / doing  something to to 'me'...  When 'me' likes what is happening - 'me' is happy - when 'me' doesn't like what is happening... doesn't like how 'me' is treated... or the situation is ... 'me is unhappy'... believing the story of 'me'.  And, we all have our individual version of 'story' - whether it is in relation to other people or in relation to Life, itself... the realization of the story is the necessary first step toward truth.

Such a deeply held belief! me and my story of who I am - all that has happened to me that defines my identity, my difficulties, an as a separate 'me'... separate from you... and either more special or less than...

Ego insists this is all true!  L o o k !  ego says... pointing... there you are... here I am !  of course we're separate!

and, when something happens... when you ignore me... or you say something that means I'm wrong... or conversely, your actons flatter me... ego is the one who reacts... believing its sense-based perceptions as the only truth. Ego makes up a story (always based on the memory of past perceptions and interpretations) and reacts accordingly... happily or unhappily... it has become a habit... and this is how we are imaging reality to be.

And, for others it may be less about beliefs in relation to 'others' and more about beliefs about Life, itself...
for example, the belief:  "life is hard" .. you have to work hard... meaning... there's no time to have fun or to play.... life is a struggle... LOOK!  See! Look at all the things I have to get done! I don't have time for me... for my needs!

Or the belief:  "There's not enough" - I can't have what I want/need. My needs aren't going to be met... I can't find the right partner, I can't find a job (or the right job), I don't have enough money for what i need..."

Or, "Life isn't fair --it didn't turn out the way I thought it would"- I've always done the right things; I've taken the high-road; I've helped others - and look what I get in return!"  All of which appears clearly just and true to the believer about Life as do the interpersonal stories. We are all living out of our memory bundle - our feeling of 'me' and my life.


But what to do with the story--the bundle of memories that I believe are 'me' ?... this bundle that bumps up against life... and becomes activated once again?  This bundle that seems to contain so much energy.  Where is this energy coming from? Whose energy is it? Maybe it's the energy of this point of Light... which the bundle--the story--has been stealing!  The story... in and of itself... doesn't have energy of its own... its simply a story...

How to restore the energy to its rightful place?... removing the energy from ego--  transferring the energy to the point of Light? Proper perspective helps--recognizing the ego... the paper mache covering... that contains the bundle of memories/perceptions of a story... the story of 'me'... the tightly-bound identity with interpretations and beliefs...

I can live this life while knowing full well that this ego, this story of me is--has been--imagined... over years of reinforced mis-perceptions... meaning, untruth.  Wow!  But, I've been believing it for so long! It feels So real! (this is 'me' talking)

Question every objection to 'what is'... especially if noticing this 'me' is taking something personally, or believing some self-defeating thought about life. The pull will be strong to believe the story in that moment - that something is happening to 'me'! or that Life is conspiring against my having joy.

Use the wise mind to remember - the story has been activated!  Realize>> the dream, the nightmare has just been triggered, again -  BREATHE!

Remember:  I -- this essential nature that I Am -- is a point of light... amidst other points of light... amidst a life that brings us exactly what we imagine... like it or not.  Visual perception will have us believing that this point of light is separate from those - however, like drops in the ocean - there is only the One. A quantum shift is being asked of me in this moment. Energy transfer from ego to point of light.
REMEMBER!

My next exploration will on what to 'do' with the emotions that arise when the story becomes activated.